Dear Joe:

Given that you have flushed away a nine game winning streak, here is a refresher course on managing a baseball team. Because you have problems with tactical decisions, I am laying this out for you as simply as I can.   If you follow these rules, you should be ok, and the team will at least be watchable:.

BULLPEN/PITCHING STAFF

  1. Please remember that your closer is Mariano Rivera.  He is to be used in SAVE SITUATIONS.  This means you do not bring him into games where your team has a 5 run lead.  You can however, bring him into a game (if rested) where you are on the road, the top of the order is up and a run means the game is over.
  2. Scott Proctor and Brian Bruney are your best releivers other than Rivera.  They have been very good with runners on and runners in scoring position.  In general, you should use Bruney in the 7th and Proctor in the 8th. 
  3. DO NOT USE  PROCTOR EVERY DAY FOR TWO + INNINGS, his arm is already falling off.  You are on the verge of ruining his career.
  4. Your best left handed reliever (against Left Handers) is Sean Henn.  Not Mike Myers. Not Ron Villone. Myers can’t get lefties out. They are hitting .321 off him this year with an obscene .403 OBP.  His 2.67 ERA is deceiving because he has allowed 16 of 39 inherrited runners to score and always leaves runners on base.  Myers is not very good.
  5. Do Not Take Chein Ming Wang out of games when he is only at 80+ pitches.  He is always a ground ball away from a DP.  The guy wants to finish games.  Let him.
  6. If you see your 44 year old pitcher come of the mound and express some sort of discomfort such that your trainer runs out to the mound to examine him, it’s a good idea to start the bullpen just in case. Deference Schmeference.  If he loses the zone, its time for some relief.

Lineup – Hitters.

  1. The object of a baseball game is to score runs, the best way to do that is to bunch your effective hitters in one spot in the lineup.  Placing slumping hitters in between hot hitters kills rallies and stymies your offense.  With that basic premise in mind, your top of your lineup should be as follows:
    • Melky Cabrerra (.298 BA, .364 OBP in June)
    • Derek Jeter (.321 BA, .383 OBP in June)
    • Alex Rodriguez (.406 BA, .500 OBP in June)
    • Jorge Posada (.290 BA, .382 OBP in June)
  2. The bunt is an effective tool.  It however should not be used when Alex Rodriguez is on deck (see stats above). 
  3. Johnny Damon is not an “effective” hitter right now (he hit a paltry .226 in June, has missed 10 games this season, and DH’ed in 21 more games).  He is clearly hurt and should be on the DL.  Please put his personal grittiness aside and get him some rehab.
  4. There is something wrong with Bobby Abreu, he should hit at the bottom of the order (7,8, or 9) until he figures what.
  5. Call up Kevin Thompson and let Matsui and Abreu split the DH responsibilities.Â