I would have loved to have been on the line for some of these telephone conversations yesterday.  A-Rod and Hank Steinbrenner:

A-Rod: Hank Steinbrenner, please.  It’s Alex Rodriguez, no…. the other one.  Thanks.  [waiting on hold... listening to elevator musical rendition of 'Those Were the Days' by Mary Hopkin]

Hank: Alex! What can I do you for?

A-Rod: I want to talk.

Hank: Well, first things first, Hot Rod, my father always told me in these situations to ask this question.  Do you want to be a Yankee.

A-Rod: Yes.

Hank: So, you have accepted the truth.  That you are a Yankee and will always be a Yankee [trying to sound like Darth Vader]

A-Rod: Is there something wrong with your voice?  It sounded like someone else was on the line.

Hank: Ahem. So, you have accepted the truth.

A-Rod: I’ve accepted the truth that you are the only franchise out there that can pay me, but yes. 

Hank: Good.  Haa  Haa Ha Haa.  You are finally ….. mine.  

A-Rod: Are you sure you’re o.k. you sound like Vincent Price after a couple of helium hits.

Hank: Ahem.  I’ll put Cashman on, he’ll set up the meeting.  And don’t even think about bringing that agent of yours. 

A-Rod: O.k. Can I bring my life coach? 

Hank: That’s fine.