As much as the Yankees chuckle at the fumbling, bumbling, disaster that is the New York Mets…they also pity the Metropolitans.

Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman, “They’re really in a sad state those Mets. They can’t do anything right. I heard they even sent their spring training equipment to the wrong a address in Florida.”

Cashman is referring to the tractor trailer stuffed with uniforms, bats, baseballs, gloves, and training equipment that was mistakely sent to Tony’s Auto Body in Pensacola, Fl. Tony, the owner of the business, promptly put all the items on eBay. Omar Minaya accidently provided the address to which he was shipping the bumper of Fred Wilpon’s  Chrysler LeBaron. What happened to the bumper? Well, it arrived safely at the Mets facility in Port St. Lucie.

This is but one example of an exponentialy growing list of daily mistakes made by New York Mets management – primarily Minaya.  A Mets insider who spoke on condition of anonymity shared, “It’s no secret that internally Omar isn’t running the show anymore. Fred doesn’t want to eat his salary, but he wouldn’t trust him to manage a sidewalk pretzel cart at this point.”

The staffer also shared a humorous tidbit. He asked me, “When was the last time you saw Omar wear a necktie?

I responded, “Hmmm, good question. I can’t recall. I may have never seen him wearing one.”

The staffer continued, “Right. He never wears one. And it’s not because he wants to be casual. He would love to wear a necktie.  The reason is because he doesn’t know how to…you know…tie it. He can’t tie the knot. I’ve seen him struggling with it prior to a press conference, and he inevitably gives up and throws it on the floor. So, that about sums it up.”

Yankees owner George Steinbrenner may not be running the Yankees anymore, but he enjoys the friendly cross-town competition, “It’s just a sad state,” George began, “Fred’s been a good friend and a good competitor. It’s not easy running a team in this town and I hate to see Freddy struggle. So, I have asked Brian Cashman to consult with the Mets for two weeks to help straighten things out over there. Two weeks only. That’s it. I just can’t allow the Mets to become the Knicks.”

So there it is folks, Brian Cashman is going to help clean up the New York Mess…I mean…Mets.

*The passage above is fictional